9am-11am: I had grand ideas of my first day at home as a Part Time Stay at Home Dad (SAHD). I was going to get up around 9am stay in my PJ’s. Feed Desmond, watch some of “The View” I wanted to embrace my new role, and what better way than to watch “The View” to get my perspective on all things “womanly”. Because we all know Barbara Walters and Whoppi are in touch with all that, but as soon as Ms. Walters started talking about her “what nots” and Whoppi about her “do whats!” I freaked out and covered Desmond’s ears and eyes, and flipped it to Elmo. God Bless you Elmo, thank you for saving me and my child’s life from a tramatic experience that would have cost myself and Desmond years of thearpy.

11am-12pm: Having a house on the market is tricky. Once you get seated and situated you get the call and are told “get out of the house now! Ohh and before you get out, clean it from top to bottom, you have 1 hour”. Like Jack Bauer from 24 I was scrambling like a mad man with the clock ticking in the corner. Luckly I had my mother in law as back up, she was like Chloe O’Brian hacking the subnet and sweeping things under the carpet. Once the clock reached zero I carted Desmond and my two dogs in a car that has no A/C in 99 degree temperatures to the safe house to kill 2 hours, so far this was in no way a day off. I was sweating by 11am and I don’t sweat. Desmond loved every bit of it. That boy loves adventure.

12pm-2pm: Finally getting home after the house showing it was time to mess the house up. Out comes the Jumperoo and swinging chair and play mat. Desmond requires time in each, its a full cardiac workout. He needs to burn some fat to work off them Chankles he is sporting, that little tubby monkey.

2pm-2:33pm: Nap time, he finally takes a nap, I am exhausted. It’s time to follow his lead and do the same. I drift off and dream of milk bottles and diapers. When I awake I am fully NOT rested. Desmond is ready for round two of Jumperoo. That boy is a jumping fool.

2:33pm-4pm: Jackie is on her way home, sweet relief because I have to pee! Why oh why did I not pee between 2pm and 2:33pm? Jack Bauer has this same problem. Such a rookie mistake. I need to regroup and take a new plan of action. Operation SAHD is in full effect. God bless you SAHM’s out there. You do an incredible job each day and every day. I am such a n00b, your wisdom is appreciated.