Monday morning was like any morning really. I got up I showered, got dressed, brushed my teeth ect. I get to work and sit at my desk, it was then I knew something did not feel right. In the words of Winnie The Pooh, “i felt a rumbly in my tumbly“. After my 6th trip to the bathroom, I decided it was time to go home. Once home I made 12 more trips. I was cramping bad at this point. I crawled to the bed and started to fade fast. I knew I had just lost half my weight in fluids, and I was only 3 hours into this thing. The thing about dehydration is, your body starts to ache, your belly cramps, its bad and I was aching bad. I had not eaten since Sunday night at 7pm, so by Monday at 5pm I was hungry, actually I was delirious, every time I closed my eyes I saw food. But of the 8 other people in the family who were also sick from this bug, they all barfed. I had not barfed because I had nothing to barf up! Jackie (The Nurse Nazi) would not let me eat! I begged and “pleaded, please, please let eat something, a pop tart, a cracker, a whopper with cheese, a steak, cardboard, anything!” “No! she said, its for your own good. I talked to momma, and dad barfed up a ginger ale, do you want barf up a ginger ale?” I yelled back at her, “don’t ever talk to your momma again! she is filling your head with lies!” Desmond could be heard down the hall, “daddeeee?!” ohh it killed me to hear him and not be able to go to him. I yelled back to him “Desmond! get daddy some food!” he tried but the nurse nazi stopped him.

Hour 36 I still had not eaten anything. The Nurse Nazi stood guard all night, every time she walked in the room I coward from sight. I could hear her out in the kitchen eating, she was eating food. She was eating all the food! There would be none left for me! That night she slept in the same bed as me, so I would not leave her sight and sneak to get food. Come 6am she gets in the shower, and I stumble, weak and dizzy into the kitchen. I open the drawers, all the drawers and cupboards only to find them empty! All the food was gone! Holy sweet Mother, she hid all the food! WHHHHYYYY!!!!! Ohh right, we are moving, she packed it up that’s all. I start digging through the boxes and I find some Cheerios. I fix a bowl, and hide in a dark corner of the room out of sight. I inhale their honey nut goodness. Then out of nowhere, there she is, standing over me, the steam from the shower evaporating off the top of her head. She looked scary, and she says to me “You couldn’t wait a little longer and just eat a piece of toast? You had to go all out didn’t you?” Your going to barf!” I stood there and didn’t say anything at first. I couldn’t, my mouth was full of cheerios. Then I said “I waited 36 hours! 36 hours!!! you don’t know what that’s like! And cheerios is not going all out! I hate cheerios! She stormed off, in a cloud of steam. I proceeded to woof down the cheerios that I do not like.

I can honestly say I am doing better, 8 of the 10 people in the family got this bug that was going around. Little Desmond has a sinus infection, along with a bad cough. I hope over the next 24 hours we all get better. Ohh and Jackie, I love you. Ok, I now must get back to my peppermint, chocolate chik-fil-a $3 shake. I think I earned it.