You know that show “Keeping up with the Kardashians“? yeah me neither, only what I see on Talk Soup. I do know its a reality TV show about some weird family who has lots of drama or whatever. I honestly feel that the next time all of us go on vacation as a family again, we need to have a TV crew following us to capture all the stuff that happens. We are the “Nard”ashians, and I can’t make this stuff up. Lets start off with my back, ohh it hurt, and it hurt bad the morning I woke up to leave. I rode in a van for 6+ hours with a back brace and hopped up on boobie relaxer drugs my sister gave me. My breast muscles felt glorious, my back, not so much. I was like an old man. When I finally got to the condo I laid on the floor and prayed for mercy. I was a mess. Below is a picture of me at Universal moments after arriving. I look miserable! I felt it too. As you can also see, Danny is concerned for me.

By day two, we had about a dozen melt downs, then it was the kids turn, hahaa. When you have so many people at a theme park its impossible to make everyone happy. We survived though, and still love each other. The boys did what boys do, we ride the big boy rides, and scream like little girls. I love roller coasters! I totally got on a roller coaster wearing a back brace (nard), I am so hard core like that. Here is a picture of me being hardcore. The youngest manling is the only one brave enough to let go of the rail!

How did Desmond do? That is all what you really want to know, so I will move on to that. He loved it! Sure he had no idea what he was seeing or where he was, he would probably get as much joy going to the mall! It was just fun to see him seeing him so excited. He said “HEY” to about a 1000 people I am sure. (I am working on his HEY! video). He was able to ride some rides, I held on to him for dear life, but he did so good, and never got scared. Here we all are trying to get a picture of us after the Dr. Suess ride, this ride was like a bad acid trip, as you can tell from his face. (I never have done acid, I am just sayin).

Can you tell he is about to expire?

And he is done…..

One night, all the adults got to go out, and it was like we forgot how to go out without children, we were like lost puppies. We almost did not know how to act. One of us humped a fish outside a local quickie mart, I have the photo to prove it but will protect the identity of that person for future blackmail purposes. I also was forced to drink a long island ice tea in less then 3 minutes. That should give you a clearer picture of the kind of night we had.

We had a great time, we laughed, we cried, we almost punched each other in the face at times. All in all we still kinda might love each other, but Christmas is coming, so who knows.