My first real pet was named Jimmy. He was a blue budgey as you can see. In Ireland my dad would breed birds. Lots and lots of birds. We had a huge avery out back, and there would be hundreds of them in there. Jimmy was a lucky one, because he got to live inside. Or maybe not so lucky. He survived many a scary adventure. Like the time a cat got in the house and tried to eat him. Or the time I burnt down the kitchen, he lived in the kitchen. He survived that event 3 times. Yes I burnt the kitchen down 3 times. I blame the toaster, and Saturday morning cartoons. How so you might ask? Well the toaster would not pop up when the toast was done. So I would put my bread in, push it down, and go back and watch cartoons. I would forget about the toast and it would catch fire and burn the cabinets and walls and well you know the rest. Nothing like running up the stairs to your parents who are asleep in bed and screaming FIRE! on a Saturday morning. They hated that.

In the picture I do not look very happy, well the reason is, Jimmy just took a crap on my head, you can see a little turd if you look real close. They say if a bird craps on your head its good luck. I think he was just trying to get me back for all the times I almost killed him. I guess I deserved it, Thanks Jimmy.

Before Desmond was born, I was in bed at 9pm. I would look forward to 9pm! Because it was bed time and I could snuggle up and just be happy to finally be doing nothing! Ohh how times have changed. Now I look forward to 9pm because that means I have about 2 hours of ME TIME! Desmond is in bed, Jackie is in bed. The house is all mine. I get to surf the internets, or watch a movie, or catch up on my tivo shows. Ohh it is good times! Getting to 9pm is no easy task. Here is an example of what today was like.

Desmond woke up at 7am. Bathe Desmond. Bathe Dogs. Bathe myself. Feed Desmond. Clean House. Go to grocery store. Go to Perry to Feed Sue. Make Dinner. Chase Dutchy around the neighborhood. Clean Kitchen. Clean Desmond’s bottles and refill them. And just when I think it is safe to finally sit down I hear a weird noise from the kitchen in one of the dog cages, and this is what I come up upon….my day never ends.

He loves Foam Beds. This is not the 1st time he has done this either.
(click here for a video)

As you all know, I have had a major squirrel issue at my house, and have threated retaliation a number of times. Well this past week I have taken the law into my own hands. A friend from work let me borrow his BB Gun. I do not really like to hunt, I am just not the hunting type. However I am the type who likes to give a squirrel a good shot in the butt cheek with a 10 pump BB shot. Here are some things I have learned in the past few days.

1. These guys are tough! It is going to take a lot more then a BB to take them out for good.
2. At first they started out stupid, taking a hit, and then getting back up to look at me for another hit.
3. Now they are just way too smart, they scatter as soon as I walk out the back door, one sign of me and they are gone.
4. One always stays behind, he is their look out. He is much smarter and quicker then the rest of them. He also calls to the others over and over again, warning them of my multi-pump wrath. I call him Ninja Nut.
5. I am also learning to speak squirrel, soon I will be able to understand them, and break their code.
6. I must say I feel very Jack Bauer like as I creep around the back yard hiding behind trees and diving behind bushes with my BB Gun, may God help them if one ever gets captured, the interrogation process will make them loose the nuts. I did knock one unconscious for about 30 seconds, but that did not slow him down. I also knocked one off the fence as he was running along top if it, I felt like I was at the fair. Maybe now they will think twice about eating all my lawn furniture, flower pots, grill, sprinklers, maple tree’s and pvc piping.

So there you have it, I am not sure who is winning, but they understand now when they see me, all they see is pain.

Oh yes, this little fella is still tormenting my yard and my soul. He was on my door step the other night, he wanted to borrow a cup of sugar. He is getting bold. I snapped this picture before he ran off into the night laughing.

Have I mentioned how much I love my new camera!!!!!! I caught this little bugger on my green peppers the other night.  This image has been cropped and shrunk from its original size. I will link to the original.

*Warning!* It is ginormas, and thats only at medium quality! (Big Lizard # 1) (Big Lizard #2) but now you get an idea of how shweeeet it is.

For about six months now a war has been brewing between myself and the wildlife of my backyard. I have not resorted to violence in anyway, just methods of diversion. That is about to change. Sunday I went outside to fire up my grill to make myself, my wife and unborn child a tasty hamburger. I turn the gas on, hit the igniter a few times, nothing happens, which is not uncommon because it tends to be faulty sometimes. Thank God it was today! I lean under the grill and see a hole chewed into the hose and the GAS is pouring out of it at full throttle. One small spark and it would have been bye bye Hogan! So now I need to get Mid evil on those little nut jobs!

So its not everyday you get to see a Raccoon running around, I was able to catch these four little fellas on video, they have been frequenting the backyard each evening. Looks like 3 babies and a momma. I recently saw a fox and owl back there this week also, that brings the wildlife count up quite a bit. Saturday morning while working on the car with Mr. C a little yellow snake slithered this way and that right by us. I say little, he was about 2 feet long. I guess the heat is really bringing them out as they look for water.

I am in the process of going through videos I have and plan on sharing the ones I find interesting. So you will be seeing more posts of videos. Enjoy. Here is a goodie, in keeping with the animal theme.

So far I have seen the following in my back yard:
2 Hawks
3 Rabbits
1 Raccoon
400 Squirrels
1 Armadillo

Joey inspired me to try my hands at a small little vegetable garden. It seemed easy enough, you buy a few seeds, put them in some potting soil, give it some water, and hopefully in a few weeks you see results. So I went to Lowes and bought myself a packet of cilantro seeds and habanera pepper seeds. I got my potting soil laid out in my pots, and planted my seeds and watered them. I was very pleased with myself and excited at the prospect of being a father to some vegetables. Well not 1 hour later I come out to check on some things in the backyard and notice my pots and dirt that I so neatly tended to was all dug up and scattered everywhere. My heart sank, I never felt so violated. The chupacobra! I thought to myself, or maybe it was a bird? Well I did the best I could to repair the damage and hope that maybe some seeds were missed and still had a chance.

This morning I saw the little nard sneak his way up from the side of the house like a seed stealing ninja, he leapt from the bench to the steps, and then leapt and sat on my pot, licking his lips and filthy paws ready to dig into my cilantro seeds. I ran for the back door screaming the craziest nonsense I could think of to scare him off. He ran like a sissy nard up the tree where he belongs.

For now I have setup Scarecrow Scooter to help ward off the seed stealing beast, but I have a feeling it won’t last very long. This Zenful activity has turned into a very stressful one. I don’t needs stress right now.