Dear Desmond,

It really only feels like yesterday that we brought you home for the first time from the hospital. Now in the coming days we will be bringing a new person into the family, just like we did you. Only this time you will be there to be a part of it all. You may not remember all the details, but the details will be here for you to read. In the last two and half years, you have made me laugh, cry, and brought a level of joy into my life that I have not experienced since your mom.

The way you smile and look down to the floor but your eyes drift up and your lip does this little flip when you know you have done something funny, but want to see us laugh first. It is truly priceless. The way you copy everything we say, no matter how big the word is.

The way you kindly and sweetly asks for buttcrust (breakfast) in the morning. How you always want a “snackie” to eat.

I love the way you love on me with huge hugs, and tell me that you “luvmetoo”.

I love how we muscle (wrestle) and “get each others cookies” (tickle) and you run off screaming “no don’t get my cookies!”.

I love how tough you are, so tough that I do not even worry when you fall any more.

I love that you sing, and you sing all the time. You sing the songs that no other child I know your age sings.

I love that you play my guitar, and you ask for my pick, because then you feel like you are playing just like I do.

I love how you love the dogs, when they are at a point in their lives when they need it most (the end).  They once were our children, but now life has gotten so big for us, that you are our children, and they are now yours. You love them, as we love you.

You are about to be a big brother, a role I know a little something about. It is not an easy job, but its one of the best jobs. You won’t know that until you are older, and as much as I tell you now and over the years, you may not believe or listen to me. But one day you will know it, and he or she will always look up to you. You will always be the superstar, you will always be bigger in your siblings eyes, and you will always be the one he or she goes to when they wont go to mom or dad.

You are only two and a half now, but soon you will be eighteen and a half, and by then, this will all mean so much more. You are my greatest creation, my finest photograph, and the perfect version of me, I love you, and can’t wait to see you as a big brother.

-dad

Remember that dream as a kid you to use to have, the one of being a childhood rock star? You are the lead singer of a band, and you write the songs everyone sings, and play the guitar for the world to hear? You know you have dreamed about it. The funny thing is, that dream never really goes away. The older you get the dreams may get smaller, and reality kicks in, and real life takes over. But the dream of being that rock star never really goes away. Its always there, its always at the back of your mind, and it always creeps forward when you least expect it. You may hear it in a song, or see it in a movie. You want to be “that guy” the one who has it all together and gets the world to sing along with you.

When it comes to expressing myself in an art form I fall short because I am kind of a shy guy. It is something I am working on. It is something that has slowed me down, and I believe has held me back from many opportunities in life. I know now why I love to take pictures, because I get to hide behind the camera and make the magic happen there. There is no fear of me making a fool of myself.

So where am I going with this? Well…they say that parents lead by example. I believe that to be true, Desmond pretty much does just about everything I do, says the things I say and shadows my every move. I do not want him to be shy and miss out on something he might be good at because of it. So over the past month I have picked up my guitar and I sing. I sing the songs I love, my “heart songs” (yes like the weezer song, a personal favorite or mine) I sing the songs I can play, which is like 3 songs (poor Jackie), but I sing them during bath time. My hope is Desmond will learn its OK to sing, singing makes the heart feel good, singing makes other hearts feel good, and the world could use more of that.

(When cleaning up the backyard I discovered this. He is all boy.)

Top 5 funniest things Desmond says.

1. “Gawd our Fadda” (when saying the Blessing)

2. “I got Your NOse! and its running out the door!”

3. “I wanna ride in daddys race car” (as in my 95 purple honda with no muffler)

4. “You teetee’d on the potty! good job! you want a tee tee treat?” (he tells us this…..)

5. “Where the bumbo go? Charlie got it?” (as in the big bumbo seat that Charlie has currently)

The idea of growing old has been on my mind a lot lately. It might have something to do with the 1st chapter of the new book I am reading “Water for Elephants” which starts out with the thought of old age, and how when you are in your twenty’s, you know exactly how old you are. You tell people “I am 23″ without skipping a beat, or “I am 27″ with no pause. However when you reach your thirty’s you have to pause for a split second, I am……I am…..32, I am 32 right?….yup 32 it is. It is so true! Is that a sign of the beginning of  the end?

So here I am. I am 32. I do not feel 32, age is just a number right? I know I have plenty of years a head of me, or at least I hope I do. I just can’t shake the idea that life is flying by faster then I want it to.

Look at that boy in the above picture, it is unbelievable that this is the same small baby boy from two years ago. Yes it has been two years. He talks, and wants and asks for things. He tells me I am funny, and wants to play, and show me things, and tell me about all sorts of things he sees each day. He can tell me who is who of Star Wars action figures, he likes to fly like Superman around the house, no really I am serious, he likes to fly arms out and wooosh around the house and jump as Superman would jump.

Each night before we go to bed he wants me to sing the “cockles and muscles” song. If you are Irish you will know what I am talking about right off, the song is actually called “Molly Malone” and its one of those songs that if you live or have been to a pub in Ireland for any amount of time you will hear it. It is actually been adopted as the national song. I sing this song to him every night now. I also have found that if he is very upset this song will instantly calm him. The last few times I have held Desmond in my arms and he is crying uncontrollably, I will start singing this song, and his entire body will instantly relax, and my heart and soul find peace with the entire world. There is no greater feeling in the world then calming your child with the sound of your own voice. I have found myself at times not wanting to lay him down in his bed, and want to just stand there forever and sing and hold him, because of all my short comings or failures or faults as a person, this is the one thing no one can ever take away from me, ever. This is what keeps me going, this is what will keep me young inside forever.

It snow’s like once a decade in Georgia. Plus if it snows at all, it either never sticks or just does not hang around. Well this year we got a rare treat of almost 4 inches, which is a lot for us! We headed to Atlanta which was our original plan for a valentine’s day baby sitting trade off with the easycheese family. So we headed north before the snow kicked in. We got a nice amount of snow, and was able to enjoy it with the Rutledge’s. Here are some photos from the day.

There is something about that hair. It is so much a part of his personality.   not sure I can picture him with it cut short. It is one of the first things people say about him. It also the one thing that seems to throw people off. You see Desmond gets called a “she” just about everywhere we go. We are so use to it now we don’t even think twice. We also do not correct people unless it just keeps coming up. Then you have to do the awkward uhhh HE is a Boy, as politly as possible. Sometimes people are so embarrassed and apologetic. Other times people do not even think twice. The funniest encounter I had with it was at walmart. This older couple saw him, and the man said what a pretty girl, and I corrected him. He then proceeded to argue with his wife who did not believe him. So they walked off going back and forth as to who was correct.

Trust me, he is all BOY.