The trouble with making a movie and setting it up for a sequel is you are then committed. Plus you have to make it better then the first one. This is where most sequels fail. Can it live up to the hype. I have to admit, this one was tougher to do. It was also a lot of fun. I hope you all have enjoyed it. So without further a do, I present “The Escape Part Two” Enjoy!

9am-11am: I had grand ideas of my first day at home as a Part Time Stay at Home Dad (SAHD). I was going to get up around 9am stay in my PJ’s. Feed Desmond, watch some of “The View” I wanted to embrace my new role, and what better way than to watch “The View” to get my perspective on all things “womanly”. Because we all know Barbara Walters and Whoppi are in touch with all that, but as soon as Ms. Walters started talking about her “what nots” and Whoppi about her “do whats!” I freaked out and covered Desmond’s ears and eyes, and flipped it to Elmo. God Bless you Elmo, thank you for saving me and my child’s life from a tramatic experience that would have cost myself and Desmond years of thearpy.

11am-12pm: Having a house on the market is tricky. Once you get seated and situated you get the call and are told “get out of the house now! Ohh and before you get out, clean it from top to bottom, you have 1 hour”. Like Jack Bauer from 24 I was scrambling like a mad man with the clock ticking in the corner. Luckly I had my mother in law as back up, she was like Chloe O’Brian hacking the subnet and sweeping things under the carpet. Once the clock reached zero I carted Desmond and my two dogs in a car that has no A/C in 99 degree temperatures to the safe house to kill 2 hours, so far this was in no way a day off. I was sweating by 11am and I don’t sweat. Desmond loved every bit of it. That boy loves adventure.

12pm-2pm: Finally getting home after the house showing it was time to mess the house up. Out comes the Jumperoo and swinging chair and play mat. Desmond requires time in each, its a full cardiac workout. He needs to burn some fat to work off them Chankles he is sporting, that little tubby monkey.

2pm-2:33pm: Nap time, he finally takes a nap, I am exhausted. It’s time to follow his lead and do the same. I drift off and dream of milk bottles and diapers. When I awake I am fully NOT rested. Desmond is ready for round two of Jumperoo. That boy is a jumping fool.

2:33pm-4pm: Jackie is on her way home, sweet relief because I have to pee! Why oh why did I not pee between 2pm and 2:33pm? Jack Bauer has this same problem. Such a rookie mistake. I need to regroup and take a new plan of action. Operation SAHD is in full effect. God bless you SAHM’s out there. You do an incredible job each day and every day. I am such a n00b, your wisdom is appreciated.

Everyday I have to wade through the Laundry Monsters Layer. He grabs at my ankles each morning and evening, sometimes he throws a sock or a sports bra around my foot. The other morning it was a pair of sweat pants. Like long arms they reach out and trip me as I try to balance my bagel and orange juice out the door. Yesterday I confronted my fears and wrestled the beast into the living room. It was time to face it head on and just do it. I want to point out that the Laundry Monster has an interesting arsenal of weapons at his disposal. I wanted to share these with you.

1. Socks, he likes to torment by hiding socks. This is one of the most common tactics they use. Hiding a matching sock is done to torment the folder (that being me) and play mind games. Yesterday I ended up with 5 misplaced socks. I did not even know I had five different types of socks!

2. Womens Clothing, is another way the monster thrives the way it does. Trying to fold womens clothing is like trying to tie a shoe with one hand. There are strings where the shoulders should be. There are undershirts attached to regular shirts! Trying to untangle a shirt that has another shirt inside it is next to impossible. Every shirt is a different size and shape. I know the female body is built differently, and thank God for that, but my goodness could it be any more difficult? Between skirts and pants and dresses its next to impossible to have a neatly folded pile. Laundry Monster Wins!

3. Baby Clothes, this is new ground for me. He has evolved and showed no mercy. I have not had to deal with this one much until recently. How do you fold baby clothes? They are just too small! Plus different sizes! I also have a habit of folding socks inside themselves so they stay together, of course we all know how that works out. But have you tried folding baby socks into themselves? You end up with a golf ball size piece of lent! Laundry Monster Wins again!

4. Fitted Mattress Sheets, this to me is the worst! How in the world do you fold a fitted sheet? Every time I fool myself into thinking, this will be the time I get it a perfect square……until the very end when it all goes south and I have a hot mess of wadded up blanket, again Laundry Monster Wins!

The above photo is not my laundry monster, I was too embarrassed to show you ours, so I thought I would show you some one else’s. I will link to her blog so she can get the credit, but its a close representation of what it was like.