Desmond and I are feeling very Irish today.

Between the ages of 5 and 9 I remember summer time as fun in the sun, and getting a tan! I would brown really nice. I never burned. I would just get this really nice looking brown tan all over my body, and people were jealous. Everyone would admire my beautiful tan, I looked like a little foreign boy from spain or somewhere tropical. You may not think anything of that, but for a little Irish boy, this was a big deal. At least it was a big deal to all the grown ups around me, because most everyone in Ireland is pale white, and when there is a heat wave and the sun is shining (which is not often!), they fry like lobsters. So for me to tan and not burn, I was a super hero among my Irish counterparts. I was an elite.

Ohh but like every superhero I had a weakness, or a vulnerable spot you might say. That spot was my buttocks. It was as white as snow. So when I tanned, my glory was short lived when my mother thought it was the greatest thing ever to show everyone my buttocks, to compare my tanned back to my bright white untanned butt cheeks. She would yell with excitement to her friends or whoever was around, “look at this boys beautiful tan, and see how his little cheeks are snow white….isn’t it glorious!” she would say. Every time we met someone she knew (or didn’t know, it didn’t matter! I dreaded being called over….because as soon as I got within arms distance of her, she grabbed me threw me over her knees and down came my pants, and behold there was a beacon of light shining as bright as the moon, that moon was full, that moon was my butt.

Earlier I posted photos of Desmond, because I just thought they were so cute, but Jackie suggested I pull them down….and I agreed, I was not thinking, but then I got to thinking, and the above entry is what came of it. So Bonus for that. For those that got to see his cute little butt, congrats! (I know who you are!) it is chubby and beautiful. :)

-=warning, the following post contains graphic material, viewer discretion is advised=-

When I was a kid, I had sinus issues, the doctors said it was “over active” so use your imagination, let it run wild for a minute. I would use my over active sinus in emergency situations only. I am sharing this information for educational purposes only. Desmond, when you are old enough to read this, we will talk more.

So you might be wondering how I could possibly use my “over active sinus” problems to my advantage? Well as a kid growing up, I lived among my fair share of bullies. Actually there was a whole street of them, and I remember them all by name to this day. I have a list, and if I ever find their IP address so help them. Anyway, I am not much of a fighter, never have been. I have touched on that subject before in my “throwing punches” post. My Dad even signed me up for Kick-Boxing one time. I guess thinking maybe that would help me. The first night there I got punched so hard in the stomach I felt my mashed potatoes come up from dinner an hour earlier, and as much as we Irish love our spuds, they do not taste better the 2nd time around. I was then placed in a choke hold to make sure I did not throw them up, how considerate.

Most times I just ran. Like an Irish Forest Gump I ran! I ran like the wind. I could at least out run most of those boys. I had crazy reflexes too, I could turn and duck like a ninja. Sure a shirt might have been grabbed or ripped, but I always escaped. But then there was the time I was surrounded, there was no escape. I was in the middle of the street being closed in on, and everyone was watching, because Hogan was about to get a beat down….again.

The funny thing is I remember I had two “Digestive Biscuits” in my hand (cookies for u Americans). If you have ever had these you know they are dry and stick to your teeth and gum’s like a paste. They are meant to be dipped in hot tea, but only for a second, because it will break, fall off and turn our tea into a soggy mess! I was really happy to have these biscuits in my hand, they were not my favorite, but a treat no less from my mom who had just given them to me. I sure as heck was not letting them go to waste for a butt kicking. What happened next I have only shared with maybe two people in this whole world, I am about to reveal my act of pure desperation.

I was in an impossible situation, the following actions are justified. What was I to do? As my attackers closed in on me I shoved both of those digestive biscuits in my mouth (not recommended) I chewed them as best I could. I then took a deep breath blew as much air out my nose and mouth as I could possibly could blow and screamed bloody murder. What happened next was both hilarious and disturbing. Chewed up biscuit spew and flew everywhere, and from my nose came an unholy amount of over active sinus snot, I was like a human can of silly string from which there was no escape! I swung my head left to right to maximize damage and coverage. If I was going down, so was everyone else around me in a phlegm of glory. Boys were screaming for their mothers, little girls were crying for their fathers, parents were in complete shock and awe. When I opened my eyes I stood there alone on the street, everyone had ran away. THEY had ran away. I was victorious, and I………needed a tissue.

So there you have it, my shame, my victory, my complete respect for airborne mucus. I have been sick now for over a week with a sinus infection. It has brought back memories of my childhood. You all have been warned; do not mess with The Hogan when his sinus’s are over active, or I will unleash the flood.

In deep concentration for his next move, he is up next.

Swing Batter!

Emmett and the Fish have a moment.

Emmett and I both fought this monster! And we have the picture to prove it!

You are never to old for bubbles, I dont care who you are.

Thanks for a fun weekend Emmett, we got sunburnt like nards, had coke floats, drank ginger ale’’s ate some potatoe chip sandwiches and hot oreos while fishing, had some corn dogs, watched some movies, went to bed real late. I think we can mark this one off as “good times” indeed.

a year ago on this very day
we knew a baby was on the way
deep inside he began to grow
his name and face we did not know

as each day passed you began to prepare
a home for him and us to share
and when that little boy arrived
his little cry filled our hearts with joy

and now a year from last mothers day
so much has come and gone our way
a little boy who loves you dear
our little son, you hold so near

your a mother now, from this day on
a mothers love keeps his heart strong
his smile is yours, his love is true
there is no one in his eyes like you

I love you J. You are an amazing mom.
Happy 1st Mothers Day

I am under the weather (allergies/sinus infection) this Mothers day, which I am not happy about. I am missing all the madness that is happening at the McDow’s mothers day party. So in my Melancholia (not melon collie as Jackie pointed out) state, I put on the Braveheart Soundtrack (one of the best movie scores ever!) and I sat down to write my wife a Mothers day poem. I have not wrote any poems in a long long long time, but this Mothers Day I feel I am allowed to get all mushy.

Happy Mothers day to my mom and all the moms out there, you are all so wonderful and beautiful.

Long ago in the hills of Lough Gur Ireland a Prince who’s father, The Earl of Desmond and Mother Queen Áine placed  a spell on the boy to teach him a lesson. He had the ability to take any shape or form and was turned into the last thing he was which was a raven. To break the spell he had to ride his horse around the lake 1 time every 7 years until the horses silver shoes wore down and broke. Only then would the spell be broken, and he would be free to change back to himself. Some say the spell is broken, and he swims with his mothers spirit around the lake in the form of a swan. Others say he still rides around the lake, every 7 years. Queen Áine died and was buried on the hill my Nana lives on. She was buried with her large treasure of gold. That treasure and her grave have never been found.

These are the kinds of stories my Nana would tell me before bedtime when I spent the summers at her home in Country Limerick. My imagination would run wild at the ideas of finding such a thing. I would get up early in the mornings and roam the hills looking for clues. I would dig holes for hours and days all over the country side. I have made many a farmer mad, been chased by my fair share of bulls, I have been stuck in barbed wire, shocked by electric fences, you name it I did it. All to find a treasure.

My Nana turns 80 today.  She is by far the most entertaining woman I have ever known. She has given me some of the best memories of my childhood in Ireland. I spoke with her earlier and she had a suprise party this past weekend. They did a big thing at Bunratty Castle,they did not get home till 5:30am. That’s what I mean, she rolls like that, and she is 80! Happy Birthday Nana, thank you for all the wonderful stories that I will get to tell Desmond for years to come. His imagination will run wild just like mine. I just hope I can tell the stories as well as you did.

The top picture was taken July 18th 1998 at 8:12pm It includes Jake, Myself and Thomas (Matt is missing, we miss you Matt) The next picture was taken March 29 2008 at 7:08pm. Pretty close to 10 years later. In those ten years since that 1st picture was taken, life has changed significantly. The product of those ten years are outlined in the photos below. Beautiful wives, and beautiful kids. Two of my dearest friends from High school were in town this weekend. Jake from NY and Thomas from Savannah. Back in High School (WRHS) we would talk about the day when we would hang out and watch our kids play together. The reality of that dream came true this weekend. We hung out and watched our kids play together, it was beautiful. Full of laughter and joy. Holly, Jakes sister who has been like a sister to us guys herself was also there, with two beautiful girls. It only seems like yesterday that we were kids ourselves playing together.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCbuRA_D3KU&feature=related[/youtube]

I dedicate the above video to my little nephew Danny, who we got to spend the weekend with! He is such a funny little lad who just loves his new little cousin Desmond. Here are some pictures from the weekend at the Rutledge’s. It was our first trip to Atlanta since Desmond was born, so it was a big deal. It went very well, and we had a great time! Ohh and I am hooked on Guitar Hero.

This picture is an oldie but a goody! If I could get away with dressing this way at work today I am sure I would. However they are pretty strict about the dress code.

Dearest Desmond, you new favorite thing to do is “Tummy Time” it really gets you worked up and excited. You also absolutely LOVE your mom. You will just talk and talk to her, and respond to everything she says. It is just incredible to watch. You also love the ceiling fan and the tree we have in our living room. You will just stare at it with such intensity. Your mom took some pictures from Monday nights tummy time. I just love that time together so much because we get pictures like this! You really are the funniest little being I have ever known.

Do you realize that when that little kid saw momma kissing Santa Clause underneath the mistletoe toe that night, how traumatic that was? I mean did he run tell Dad? I bet he didnt, it would have broken his Dad’s heart! The torment that poor little kid must have felt keeping that secret! I am almost 30 years old now, and up until last year I never figured that song out, and no one every thought to explain it to me! I thought Santa had it made, some Milk, Cookies, and a little kissy kiss at each stop. Player!

Christmas is coming and I am very excited! My Grandmother is coming, MY parents will be here, and I have a son of my own that will be showing up shortly after! I find myself planning all these play dates in my head, of all the cool things we will get to do. It’s like getting to live your childhood all over again, but this time I will have a smaller version of myself to do it with. I keep remembering all the fun things I did as a kid. I had an active imagination that is still as clear to me today as it was back then. All these things I want to share with him. I feel we have grown closer these past few months, I feel him move as he moves around in Jackie, I love to feel him move, its my new favorite pass time. We talk about man things, and sing weird songs about goats and chicken wings, he likes that.

I love the anticipation of Christmas, this Christmas will be the last Christmas of just Jackie and myself, and thats OK. We will always have our time and make time for each other, but Christmas after this year will be a new, and exciting change for us both. I will however make a point of this, when he is old enough, I will explain the meaning of that song to him, so he is not as confused as I have been all these years.